We have all heard the heroic story of a blind person who sang his way to millions and the Grammys. Or the college dropout who pursued an idea and became a billionaire. But we know these feats often feel impossible for most people with similar disadvantages. While these stories are inspiring, they don’t always help people in seemingly disadvantaged circumstances over the long term. Perhaps it’s because we miss the secret of turning our disadvantages into advantages and overlook everyday stories happening around us.
Let’s consider the story of Aishat Farooq, who became pregnant while at university, dropped out, and had to start over. Despite facing stigma, she emerged as the best-graduating student, outperforming people who seemed to have every advantage. While some might say she’s an exception, Ezinne Anieto achieved something similar. As a mother of three and the wife of an Anglican priest, she also became the best-graduating student. Similarly, Edafe Dogo, a mother of two, excelled as the best-graduating student despite her responsibilities. These women, deemed disadvantaged by society, overcame tremendous challenges and emerged as the best.
Some might argue that poverty and poor living conditions set people up for academic failure. But the story of Aminat Yusuf proves otherwise. She became the best-graduating student even though she lived in extremely poor conditions. Being poor, getting pregnant as a teenager, or living with a disability are often seen as disadvantages. Yet, these circumstances also bring unique benefits: zero external pressure. When society expects you to fail, you are free from the weight of high expectations.
It’s often said, “To whom much is given, much is expected.” But for those with disadvantages, little is expected. This lack of pressure allows for persistence. Failure is unnoticed or expected, so there’s no shock or judgment when it happens. This gives room to try again.
Children with abundant resources are often reminded of how lucky they are and are pressured to excel. In contrast, a disadvantaged child isn’t expected to exceed ordinary accomplishments. This creates an atmosphere where they can dream freely, unburdened by others’ expectations. Every impossibility they turn into a possibility is celebrated because they achieved greatness against the odds.
So, what is the secret to succeeding as a disadvantaged person? Your disadvantage forces you to focus. For example, as a young parent juggling school, you don’t have the luxury of distractions like video games, dating, or leisure activities. Your responsibility drives you to prioritise what truly matters. If you’re poor, the lack of distractions from things only money can buy leaves you with time to study and learn. Pain, hunger, and responsibility become forces that redirect you to your goals, even when life’s glamour tempts you.
This principle applies not only to academics but also to various life challenges such as job loss, receiving a difficult medical diagnosis, or going through a painful divorce. You can leverage the absence of societal expectations and pressure as an opportunity to rebuild your life. Allow your feelings of pain, hunger, stigma, shame, and responsibility to drive you toward creating the best life possible. As many inspiring stories demonstrate, disadvantages can often turn into hidden advantages. Ultimately, you may find yourself questioning whether these experiences were truly disadvantages at all.
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Feature Image by Teddy Tavan for Pexels
