I may appear young and still actually be under 40s, but there is a lot about love I know that many do not have an idea of. My foray into love began at quite an early age. By age 14, I already had my first sexual encounter, so, trust me when I say, I know quite a lot about the opposite gender and how their mind works.
Back in the day, love used to mean a thing. On Valentine’s Day, all you needed was a Valentine’s card and a flower to put a smile on your date’s face. There wasn’t any need for extravagance—it was just pure ecstasy and emotions from the heart. Damn! The good old days!
What do we have today? A shadow of what, once, used to be love. I shake my head in pity when I see how materialistic ladies have become. Before that lady even considers giving you her number after all your sermon on the mount, she would have, first, sized you up, priced your clothing and eyed what phone you use. This all happens in a jiffy and the outcome of her assessment would even define whether or not you get a “yes,” or a “no.” It’s that problematic.
After this hurdle, it becomes a race against time to show her you have the money to take care of her. Bills unending follow. If she’s the most materialistic, you’d suddenly hear, “:my gas has finished” just days after meeting her. Within a week, you’d have done data subscription, airtime and other things for her. When the time comes for a date, it would appear she is out to siphon funds for your account. At the end of the date, one person will depart smiling heartily while the other will be trying very hard to not look gloomy.
Then, should the process culminate further into a proper relationship, wow, best of luck. You will understand what the term, “breadwinner,” means even before getting married. Bills on bills will pile up all in the name of love until you get exhausted of it all. More often than not, this is the circle of life for young guys in Nigeria—where the ladies feel a man’s purpose in life is to spend on her till he dies.
Of course, not every woman is like this. I quite agree. However, the truth remains that the women who are not like this are quite few compared to the vast majority of sharks in this ‘love’ ocean. Sit most men down and ask them about their love experience: 8-9 out of 10 will repeat my narration.
How did we get to this point. When did the mental shift occur among women to dictate this wrong order of things? I do not know and wouldn’t even bother tracing its origins. All I know is that this messed up and makes no sense. Put it rightly: This is slavery.
It’s a good thing I have been fortunate enough to meet the “few” women who do not belong to this shark cartel. Personally, I do not believe I have to pay to get a woman to like me. Sadly, this philosophy has made me miss out on many ladies. At the end, I get labelled “stingy” for being prudent and shunning what is wrong.
Of course, a man should be ready and capable of taking care of his woman, but, not in the way our Nigerian girls are turning it into. My dear, it is not your birthright. You are not doing anybody a favour. Have some dignity and stop being a tax collector masking behind love. Quit this savagery.
It is quite unfortunate that many parents even teach their girl children on how to become able tax collectors. Some would even tell their kids to ensure they bring a rich man back home. This, to me, is clear evidence of poverty, because an Otedola or Dangote would not emphasize this to their female children. But, since you failed to be successful, the burden falls on your daughter to bring success to the family through a male admirer. How sad.
I was, once, in a relationship with a lady. God knows I put my all in this affair. I was there for her when her mother died, did my best financially and offered every kind of support to her, emotionally and otherwise. Despite my best efforts, she still up and left for a rich dude. I thought to myself: Where is the love she once preached? Gone into the winds. Mere words.
These days, I see quite a lot of men have adjusted to this new school of thought and are now playing by these new rules. Interesting. Well, call me, “stiff,” but I will forever cling on to my archaic ways—I refuse to pay over the top for any lady. If love doesn’t matter to her, money will not be my way in. May she shut me out forever. Good riddance to bad rubbish.
Now, back to the topic at hand: Can love exist without money? Hmm. Maybe in the diaspora, but in Nigeria where I sleep and wake, it looks highly unlikely. While the beautiful ones are not yet born, the scavengers here will suck you dry before the beautiful ones are ever conceived.
