There seems to be a universal question among parents, especially those with very young children: which parent will the child prefer? Regardless of race or background, many parents find themselves wondering whether their child will be a “daddy’s boy or girl” or a “mommy’s boy or girl.” Children are unique individuals with different preferences. Yet, that hasn’t stopped parents from vying—playfully or secretly—for the top spot in their baby’s heart. Each parent often desires to be the favourite, and it’s easy to tell when a parent feels a bit hurt if their child chooses the other.
I love watching the interaction between babies and their parents. It’s magical and special to witness the pure love and affection parents have for their little ones. They cherish every moment and quickly express their pride in their babies. In the eyes of these parents, their children can do no wrong; they are completely and utterly in love with them. Those tiny humans truly are the centre of their parent’s world.
In return, children also long to be with their parents, often wanting to stay in their arms forever, especially at a young age. They absorb everything from their parents and often become their “little shadows,” forming strong emotional bonds and, in many cases, becoming endearingly clingy.
While most young children tend to cling to their parents, there are exceptions. Occasionally, a child may show more independence, and content whether or not their parents are around. Such a child is generally happy to play, eat, and sleep without needing constant parental presence. This behaviour isn’t linked to the child’s gender, as both independent boys and girls exist.
There’s also a common misconception that children of specific genders always favour one parent over the other. Videos often portray daughters preferring their fathers and sons favouring their mothers, but these patterns are not absolute. This dynamic may influence a child’s development, as daughters sometimes view their fathers as protectors and “first boyfriends,” while sons see their mothers as nurturing figures. However, these roles aren’t set in stone and often relate more to time spent together than to any natural preference.
Parents should remember that favouritism doesn’t mean a child dislikes the other parent. Feelings of competition may arise, but it’s essential to continue showing love and support, regardless of the child’s current preference. I’ve seen videos where parents seem to coax their child’s favour, sometimes with sweets, toys, or outings. While they might say it’s for fun or content creation, young children might not understand the difference, and the last thing we want is for children to think they need rewards to show affection.
This subtle competition can begin as early as birth. A simple smile aimed at one parent can spark pride, and if a child’s first word is “Dada”—often the first word they say due to its simplicity—the mother may jokingly remind everyone of the months she carried the child and the hours of labour she endured. Although said in a playful tone, a hint of hurt may linger behind the words.
It’s amusing how seriously parents sometimes take these moments. Children, on the other hand, typically don’t think deeply about it. Their preference is often temporary, choosing “Dada” one day and switching to “Mama” the next. So, rather than asking who the child favours overall, perhaps the real question is simply whom they prefer in that particular moment.
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Feature Image by Ketut Subiyanto for Pexels
